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We will be going on a journey with Aman who took the liberty to sit down for an interview with our authors, Pavithra Prabhu and Anna Mariam Ittyerah as he narrated his experience of moving in and out of places. To know more, read the piece given below which has been edited by our HSJ writers.
Here I was at JP Nagar with my luggage and my roommate refusing to let me stay at the house we ‘rented out together.’ In order to escape a shady PG, moving into a new place with your friend would solve your problem, right? No. it doesn’t work that way. I was an 18-year-old stranded in a new city that was supposed to be exciting. Now before you jump to conclusions, hear me out.
Listen to the audio version of the entire conversation with Aman Shaikh Raju here
When I first moved to Bengaluru, I stayed at a PG that was shady and difficult to live in. After which I chose to move in with a friend and we stayed at an apartment that his parents found for us. Here is a lesson when it comes to choosing a roommate. Never move in with someone you don’t know. Move in with just one person and make sure he/she is a really close friend or an acquaintance of yours, or the best option is to live alone. Otherwise, you are bound to end up in a not-so-nice situation.
The next couple of days I was a nomad who kept crashing at others’ apartments or PG. I know, right? Who would allow random people from outside in PGs? But I had my ways and sometimes we got to do what we got to do. Finally, by sheer dumb luck or the universe’s kind heart, my classmates asked me if I wanted to be their third roommate, to which I instantly jumped at the offer. But before that, I had to take care of things with my old roommate so I pulled the classic ‘blame it on the parents’ move and began a different life with my two other friends.
Now, you might think that all is well that ends well. However, there is another ‘but’ coming your way. Before we get to that, here’s a pro tip: do not move in with your classmates, colleagues, juniors, basically people you share space with outside your personal life.
My ‘classmates-turned-roommates’ took care of the house hunting and got a decent 2 BHK near the college. Having paid very little deposit, I chose to use the living room as my makeshift bedroom. But they made the biggest mistake of inviting people over to the house almost every single day. Initially, it was alright to invite two or three friends over, but before we knew it, there were almost 20 people in our house. It all boiled down to one of my roommates being a social butterfly; that would be an understatement, he was a social hawk. One thing led to another and before we even realized it, people began asking for our house keys just to crash at our place. Soon enough we had strangers coming over, trashing my space, messing up our home and treating our house like a lounge.
This was when I learned to say no and how important it was to respect another’s space. The house soon gained the reputation of an ‘adda’ where people would crash whenever they wanted to. But there came a time when I had to put my foot down when my phone got stolen. The final blow came when my roommate’s DSLR camera and lens were stolen. This pushed us to lock our bedroom doors before we went out. We don’t know who else has access to our house apart from us. I was at my wit’s end. Although we locked our rooms, people would still ask us for the room keys, and I honestly do not know how my patience hadn’t worn out yet.
I finally decided to move out and live alone in a rented 1RK. I made friends with a broker who helped a lot, and frankly speaking, staying alone was the best decision I ever made. People who came to visit me would ask if they could come over which therefore prevented unsolicited visitors. Another thing I learnt was this: when staying with roommates it gets tough to share chores as we’re all lazy and tired no matter how much we try to deny it. Living with roommates also means that you have to be aware of your living space and take into consideration their feelings. There are times when things will turn ugly but that entirely depends on how you and your roomie choose to deal with it.
The next lesson I learnt was that it is always important to maintain good relations with the house owners. Informing your house owners about your so-called habits (drinking, smoking, etc.) and holding onto your end of the promises actually makes a difference in the relationship dynamics. To be honest this will in fact prevent unnecessary troubles such as nosy neighbours filing complaints because your landlord will back you up, provided you take responsibility for the space that you are living in.
I learnt a lot while living with my roommates, and applied those lessons to the art of living alone. The next time I shifted, I chose an area that had a lot of trees. Also this time I was adamant that I would live alone. But I wouldn’t mind living with people I have known for a long time. However, when you’re alone, gaining a level of independence will be accomplished; you will learn to do everything on your own. Especially if you are an individual living in Bengaluru, you need to be self-reliant. If something goes wrong you cannot blame it on anyone else; you have to be responsible for yourself. Finally, the best thing about living alone according to me is the amount of self-introspection and realisation you get to do.
The conclusion that I drew is this: there is no perfect place. You have to do your research and there will definitely be trial and error. My suggestion is that if you are coming to Bengaluru or any new city for the first time, live in a PG. People should stay at a PG for some time to understand the place, the people and how things work around. If you have someone you know, stay with them until you learn about yourself. You will never find a perfect place and it will be a continuous back and forth process until you find a lifestyle and people you are comfortable with. My word of advice is to be on the safe side and don’t invite trouble under any circumstances.
Some people cannot live without being around others, some prefer to stay by themselves. People and situations will mould you. There will come a time when you look back and joke about it. It is all an experience and there is no good or bad is what I would say.
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